After the Afflictions, I Have a Firmer Love for God

Zhang Ren    Jiangxi Province

My name is Zhang Ren, and I’m a Christian in the Church of Almighty God. Since I began to know things, I saw my parents labor hard in the fields from morning till night every day for making money. Although they exerted much effort, they couldn’t earn much money after one year’s labor. So my family had been living a very poor life. When I saw those influential people live well without needing to labor hard, I envied them from the bottom of my heart.

And I made a firm resolution that I would build up a career or get an official post after I grew up, so as to shake off our poverty and backwardness and let my parents live the life of the rich. However, after I strived for this ideal for years, it was still not fulfilled, and we still lived a very poor life. I often felt depressed and sighed for my accomplishing nothing, and I gradually lost my confidence in life. Just when I was discouraged and disappointed at life, Almighty God’s end-time salvation came upon me. From Almighty God’s word, I knew the root of man’s suffering in living in this world and also understood how to live in a most meaningful and worthy way. From then on, I, lost and helpless, found the direction of life, came out of depression and decadence, had vitality and vigor, and saw the hope of life. Later, in order that those who still lived in misery and helplessness could also receive this rare salvation, I ran around preaching God’s end-time salvation actively. But unexpectedly, during my preaching the gospel, I was arrested by the CCP government twice and suffered brutal and inhuman tortures…. In the dark den of the devil, Almighty God had always been with me, and his word gave me faith and strength, leading me to overcome satan’s influence of darkness time after time, so that my love for God became stronger.

It was one day in June 2003. When two brothers and I were preaching the gospel in a village, an evil man reported us. Afterward, five or six cops came in three police cars. Without asking anything, they handcuffed us, and then kicked and pushed us into the police cars and took us to the Public Security Bureau. In the car, I didn’t feel very frightened. I thought that since we preached the gospel for people to be saved and we had done nothing wrong, as long as we said it clearly there, the cops would release us. However, I never knew that the CCP police are even crueler than those ruffians and villains. After we got to the Public Security Bureau, the cops began to interrogate us separately without giving us a chance to explain. As soon as I entered the interrogation room, one evil cop roared at me, “The CCP’s policy is to be lenient to those who confess and harsh to those who resist. Do you know it?” Then they questioned me about my personal information. Seeing that my answers were not to his satisfaction, a cop came near to me, snorted and said, “You are dishonest. If we don’t give you some color, you won’t tell the truth.” Then he waved his hand and said, “Get a few bricks and torture him!” As soon as he finished his words, two cops came to me, pulled one of my hands backward over my shoulder and pulled the other backward up my waist, and forcibly pulled them together and handcuffed them. Immediately, my arms ached unbearably as if they were broken. How could I, who was weak, stand such torture? After a short time, I collapsed on the ground. Seeing that, the evil cops pulled the handcuffs and lifted them up forcefully, and then put two bricks between my hands and back. Immediately, the sharp pain pierced my heart like numerous ants gnawing my bones. In agony, I kept calling to God, “Almighty God, save me; Almighty God, save me….” At that time, it was just about three months since I had accepted God’s end-time salvation, so I hadn’t equipped myself with many of God’s words and understood few truths. But, with my constantly calling out to God, God gave me faith and strength, so that I had a firm belief within: I must stand testimony for God and will never yield to satan! So, I clenched my teeth and kept silent all the time. The evil cops were exasperated. In order to subdue me, they used malicious means: They put two bricks on the ground and forced me to kneel on them, and then at the same time they lifted my handcuffs with force. Immediately, my arms ached overwhelmingly as if they were broken. I fought the pain to kneel for several minutes and then collapsed on the ground again. The evil cops forcefully lifted my handcuffs again and forced me to continue kneeling. Just in that way, they tortured me over and again. It was the period of dog days. I felt painful and hot, with great drops of sweat dripping down my face unceasingly. I felt so bad that I couldn’t breathe and almost fainted. But that gang of evil cops gloated aside, “Comfortable? If you still refuse to tell us, we have a great many ways to torture you!” Seeing me give no reply, they said exasperatedly, “You aren’t satisfied? Again!” … After being tortured for two or three hours, I felt painful and weak all over, collapsed on the ground unable to move, and even became incontinent. Facing the evil cops’ cruel tortures, I really hated myself for being so blind and ignorant before. I fondly thought that I would have someone to reason with in the Public Security Bureau, and that the cops would do me justice and release me. Unexpectedly, they were so fierce and cruel. Without any evidence, they interrogated me by cruel tortures and tried to fix me to death. They were really malicious to the extreme! Lying on the ground, I felt as if I were going to come apart and could hardly move. I didn’t know how they would torture me or how long I could hold on. Painful and helpless, I could do nothing but keep crying to God inwardly to give me strength, so that I could hold on. Then, God pitied me and made me remember God’s words, “Now is the crucial moment. Do not lose heart. Do not be discouraged. Look forward in everything and do not walk the way back. … As long as you have one breath left, you should persist to the end. Such is a good one.” (from “The Twentieth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words gave me great faith and strength. Right! Since I’m walking a bright and just way, I should have faith to walk along it. Even if I have just one breath left, I’ll hold on to the end! God’s word, with life force, gave me the faith and courage to continue fighting against the devils, and gradually I recovered some strength. Then, the evil cops continued to question me and kept stomping my feet fiercely, grinding them into a bloody pulp, but I didn’t feel any pain. I knew that was God’s wonderful deed. It was God who showed mercy to me and sympathized with my weakness and relieved my pain. Later, the evil cops detained us on the charge of “disturbing the social order.” That night, they handcuffed us separately to a big concrete block weighing about three or four hundred jin. We were handcuffed there until the next evening, and then they sent us to the local detention house.

After I entered the detention house, I felt as if I had fallen into Hades and hell. The prison guards forced me to thread colored lights. At first, they ordered me to thread 6,000 a day. Later, the quantity was increased day by day, and it grew to 12,000 a day in the end. Because of every day’s overwork, my fingers were broken, but I still couldn’t finish the task. Having no choice, I had to do threading around the clock. Sometimes, I really couldn’t bear it and wanted to doze off. But once they saw that, I would be beaten up. The prison guards also publicly instigated the prison bullies, saying, “If these prisoners can’t finish the task or do well, you just give them two shots of ‘penicillin.’” The so-called “penicillin” is that one thrusts his knee into a prisoner’s crotch, then strikes him on the back hard with an elbow when he bends down from pain, and then stomps his instep with his heel. Such brutal means can sometimes make one faint on the spot or even be disabled for life. In the demonic prison, every day I did heavy work and got beaten cruelly. Moreover, the three meals we ate each day were even worse than what pigs and dogs eat. The vegetables we ate were radish leaves and swamp cabbage without any oil or salt. (Rotten leaves and roots, sand, or dirt were often mixed in them.) And the rest were a cup of water discarded after washing rice and 150 grams of rice. My stomach rumbled from hunger every day. In such an environment, my only reliance was Almighty God. Whenever I was beaten, I desperately prayed, asking God to give me faith and strength, so that I could overcome satan’s temptation. After being afflicted and tortured for over twenty days, I was only a shadow of my former self: My limbs were weak, I couldn’t stand up, and my hands were too weak to spread. However, the frenzied guards not only shut their eyes to me but also pocketed the several hundred yuan my family sent to me. Later, my health was declining. I was so weak that I began to complain in my heart, “Why do we have to undergo such suffering in believing in God in this country? Isn’t it for saving others that I preached the gospel? I didn’t do anything bad….” The more I thought, the more I felt distressed and mistreated. So I could only keep praying to God, asking God to pity and save me. In misery and helplessness, God led me to think of a hymn of God’s word, “Maybe you all remember this word: ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.’ In the past, you all heard this word, but none of you understood its true meaning. Today, you deeply know its real meaning. This word will be accomplished by God in the end time, and it will be accomplished in people in the place of the great red dragon who are cruelly persecuted by it. Because it is the persecutor of God and the enemy of God, people in this place all suffer humiliations and persecutions for believing in God. So, this word is accomplished in you group of people. Because the work is carried out in the place that resists God, all God’s work is greatly hindered, and many of God’s words cannot be accomplished in time. Thus people suffer refining because of God’s word. This is also a part of the ‘affliction.’” (from “God Has Paid All the Price on You” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) God’s words gave me great comfort and encouragement and made me understand God’s will. Because we believe in God in an atheistic country, we’re bound to be oppressed and persecuted by satan the devil. But it’s worthy and meaningful to undergo such suffering, and it’s permitted by God. Through such persecution and tribulation coming upon us, God works the truth into us, so that we’ll be qualified and capable to inherit God’s promises. The “suffering” is God’s blessing; it’s a testimony of God’s defeating satan and also a powerful evidence of my being gained by God. Today I undergo such persecution of the devil because of following God; this is a special favor to me. I ought to accept it gladly and readily. I also remembered the words God spoke in the Age of the Grace, “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:10) At that time, I had more faith and strength: No matter how satan the devil tortures me, I will never yield to it and will pledge my life to stand testimony to satisfy God! God’s words, with authority and power, removed my desolation and helplessness within, and relieved the pain of my flesh which was greatly afflicted, so that I saw the light in darkness and also felt stronger and had more strength in my spirit.

Later, without any evidence, the CCP government forcibly sentenced me to one year of hard labor. When the evil cops escorted me to the labor camp, the officer dared not accept me for fear that I would die because he saw that I was skin and bones, no longer like a man. So, the evil cops had to take me back to the detention house. At that time, I had been tormented by the evil cops too much to eat anything. However, they not only didn’t give me medical treatment, but instead, they said that I was pretending to be sick. Seeing that I couldn’t eat, they asked others to pry my mouth open and force me to eat. Seeing that I couldn’t swallow, they beat me. I was forced to eat and beaten by them like a toy three times. Seeing that I really couldn’t eat, they had no choice but to take me to the hospital. After the examination, it was discovered that my blood vessels were already hardened, and my blood was black and pasty and could hardly circulate. The doctor said, “If this man continues to be imprisoned, he’ll certainly die.” But the vicious evil cops still didn’t let me off. Later, I only had a faint breath left, and the prisoners all said that I was hopeless and would surely die. At that time, I felt greatly distressed in my heart, “I’m so young and I have just seen God’s coming again and haven’t enjoyed many beautiful times, much less seen the day God gains glory, but I’ll be tortured to death by the CCP government. I’m really unwilling. I bitterly hate this gang of conscienceless demonic cops, and even more bitterly hate the CCP government, the evil party that pushes reactionary policies and goes against Heaven. It deprives me of my freedom of following the true God. It attempts to put me to death and doesn’t allow me to worship the true God. This heinous satan the devil is indeed God’s irreconcilable enemy, and even more is my mortal enemy. Even if it tortures me to death today, I’ll never yield and give in to it!” In indignation, I thought of God’s words, “The hatred of the ages is kept in heart; the evil of all ages is borne in heart. How could this not arouse people’s hatred? Avenge God, and exterminate this enemy of God thoroughly. How dare it be rampant, and how dare it kick and run amuck frantically! Now is the time. People have long readied all their strength to consecrate all the effort and all the price to this, tearing up the ugly face of this devil, and causing those who are blinded and suffer hardships and afflictions to rise up from the miseries and rebel against this old devil!” (from “Work and Entering In (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Pondering God’s words, I saw more clearly the CCP government’s maliciousness and cruelty. And I realized this: Now I’m facing a war between life and death, justice and evil. The CCP government tortures me so much just in order to force me to reject and betray God. But God reminds and encourages me to stand strongly and transcend the bondage of death and bear an overcoming testimony for God. I can’t be passive and despondent. I’ll try my best to cooperate with God, obey God’s manipulation and arrangement, obeying unto death like Peter, and bear a strong and resounding testimony for God to comfort his heart at the last moment of my life. My life is in God’s hand. Although satan can torture and kill my body, it can never hinder my heart from believing in God and pursuing the truth. Today, I don’t care whether I can live on, but only wish to commit my life to God and submit to his manipulation. Even if I’m tortured to death, I’ll never yield to satan! When I was ready to give up my life and resolved to bear testimony for God, God made a way out for me, raising up those prisoners to feed me. At that time, I was very moved in my heart. I deeply knew that God was by my side and was with me all the time and that he had been caring for and keeping me, sympathizing with my weakness, and arranging everything for me carefully. In the devil’s dark den, my flesh was greatly afflicted, but my heart didn’t feel so distressed or bad. Later, the evil cops imprisoned me for 15 more days. Seeing that I was already breathing weakly and might die at any time, they had to release me. Within nearly two months after I was imprisoned, I, who weighed over 50 kilos before, was reduced to a skeleton about 25 to 30 kilos by the torture, and was at death’s door. Even so, those devils wanted to fine me 10,000 yuan. In the end, as my family really couldn’t afford the money, they forcibly demanded 600 yuan for my food expenses and then released me.