Correct Yourself Before Correcting Others

Chongxin Shanxi Province

Correct Yourself Before Correcting Others

It is said in one fellowship: “Leaders and workers must have a loving heart, patience, understanding, and must treat people in the proper way. They must conduct their affairs in accordance with the principles of truth and treat people fairly” (“12 Problems All Churches Need to Resolve Urgently” in Selected Annals of the Work Arrangements of The Church of Almighty God).

In the past, I never paid much care to communion passages regarding how leaders and workers should conduct themselves in a humane manner, work in accordance with the principles of truth, and treat people fairly because I always believed myself to be quite humane. I wasn’t like most of the double-crossing, insincere people of the secular world. Also, since becoming a leader, I hadn’t suppressed the views of others or excluded anyone from dialogue. This being the case, I praised myself as being honest, just and fair. Whenever I heard of false leaders and workers not treating people fairly or playing and promoting favorites while suppressing and excluding others, I would always turn up my nose at them. I thought that such leaders and workers must be truly inhumane and, thereby, unqualified to serve as leaders or workers. Only after some recent experiences that exposed my true nature and allowed me to gain insight into myself did I realize I’m not the honest and upright person I thought I was. Rather, I found I was treating people based on emotion and preferences. In quest of my own personal benefit, I was just as crafty, cunning, selfish and malicious as anyone else. Only through the judgment and chastisement of God’s word did I realize that the most beneficial way, the most fair and just way to treat people is by acting in accordance with the principles of truth. Additionally, I realized the crucial importance, as a leader, of treating people fairly.

In June of 2013 I traveled to another province to collaborate on some church work. At this district, one of the two leaders was a sister from my hometown, “sister A.” In the past, we had collaborated with each other on various work and we had a very good relationship. As you can imagine, I was overjoyed to see her again so far from home and after so long. The other leader, “sister B,” had just been elected as a leader and was more introverted and steady-minded. She had been promoted just as we leaders were going into retreat for spiritual cultivation. As it so happened, the two sisters and I ended up doing our retreat at the same host family. Given our past, sister A and I were naturally a bit more intimate with each other from the start. She and I have similar personalities—we are both total extroverts—so I was naturally very fond of her and very willing to cooperate if we met with any issues. Later, I began to realize that this close relationship we had was not ideal for our work and would not allow for mutual benefit, so I began to intentionally hold back, to rebel against my flesh. At that time, I was quite worried because the two sisters were not working well together; both had their prejudices. Whenever sister B felt constrained, I made sure to commune with her and give her encouragement and guidance. I would also intentionally spend less time with sister A for fear that sister B would feel left out or unhappy. Whenever I noticed that sister A had exposed her arrogant and egotistical disposition, I would deal with and correct her without the least hesitation. I wouldn’t favor or protect her just because the two of us were close friends. … I thought that, in so doing, I was treating my sisters fairly and in line with God’s intent. I didn’t understand myself, but God saw right through me. In the following days, He would unveil my true satanic nature, casting my inner darkness in the light of judgment.

In the beginning of our retreat, to make sure that we finished our work expeditiously and devote ourselves to spiritual cultivation, we distributed the work evenly among the three of us: Sister A would be responsible for arranging and executing all external affairs, while sister B and I would be responsible for taking care of any issues that arose within the churches. On one project, I was derelict in my duties, neglecting to communicate the particulars of the project to my sister and leaving her to fend for herself. After she had completed the project, I also neglected to go over and examine her work and, as a result, there were some problems with the project. In the aftermath, our leader wrote us a letter pointing out our mistakes and intentions. I was extremely aggrieved, and thought: After only just arriving here, I already made such a basic mistake; I’m such a good-for-nothing and have made a complete idiot of myself! How will the leader think of me now? Will the leader say I lack truth and am incapable of executing work? When I thought about all of this, I suddenly felt a deep resentment toward my sister. I resented that she had caused me to make a fool of myself. In this new environment, I neglected to learn from my mistakes and didn’t take stock of my errors to correct my mistakes. What’s more, I was unwilling to shoulder responsibility and, to preserve my status and reputation, I went against my own good conscience and did something despicable—I placed all the responsibility on my sister. I couldn’t believe that I had committed such vile acts—what kind of person was I? At this point, I could feel the reproach of the Holy Spirit and the condemnation placed on my conscience. However, my heart would harden up when I thought about how my sister had damaged my reputation and status. Not only did I fail to lay myself bare to my sister, I even secretly disdained her and pursued my own agenda in our communion of God’s word. If I wasn’t outright blaming my sister, I was weaseling my way out of any responsibility and shifting the blame to my sister to try to make everyone think that the issue was the result of her wrongdoing. I even judged the sister behind her back: questioning whether the Holy Spirit was working on her and if she was capable of doing this work. In the end, I got what I had coming: God disciplined me and I suffered from mouth ulcers. Yet, I did not mend my ways, stalwart in my rebellion against God and disdain for my sister. I didn’t practice the truth and became a wrongful person, completely unable to treat my sister fairly. I cast a disapproving eye on all her work—it seemed to me she could do no right. I had long ago lost my initial spirit of loving support and treated her with a cold, business-like affect. I knew there was something wrong with my attitude, but my satanic nature caused me to be unable to face the facts and take responsibility for my errors. Instead, I used my status to manipulate and discipline my inferiors, living by the code that “What the boss says goes”; this, a poisonous maxim certainly spewed from the mouth of the great red dragon itself. The way I treated sister was no different than the tyrannical authoritarianism of the great red dragon. In my actions, one could see the ghastly ugly face of Satan revealed in full. At first, sister didn’t react negatively. Despite being dealt with, she tried to see God’s intent and enter in a proactive way. However, I just couldn’t let it go: Whenever something reminded me of “the incident” in our current work, I always had to bring it up to deal with her. Gradually, sister became less proactive in her work. She was hesitant to do anything on her own and was unable to cooperate fully. When I saw how she was acting, I became extremely angry. Then, when it became clear that the two sisters were having trouble collaborating, I totally lost it. I thought to myself: I’ve come here to support the two sisters in their work, but in all this time I’ve been unable to resolve their issues—doesn’t this make me a total waste of a person? I kept dealing with the two of them and felt that I was full of responsibilities, but it had all been completely ineffectual. No matter how much I communed with the two of them, I couldn’t seem to set things straight. I had been unable to resolve their issues, and, even worse, the two of them both had prejudices against me and complained about how I was playing favorites. Faced with this situation, I was at a complete loss. I had exhausted my own capability and there was nothing I could do. Further, I had become fed up with the two of them and thought that it was all their problem, because they weren’t willing to practice the truth and make positive changes.

Feeling utterly hopeless, I prayed to God, seeking direction. During prayer, I remembered a passage in a fellowship from the above that says, “In the past there were two sayings, ‘Correct yourself before correcting others’ and ‘How can he who is in the wrong correct others?’ Speak of your own experience. By speaking of your experience, you are helping others and correcting yourself. You are helping others by correcting yourself, and, in the process, you may also correct others. This is the best way to do your work. … The more upright you are, the more you hold a sense of righteousness and speak fairly and justly, the more people will love you, love to listen to you commune and confirm your words. Just as you say, so will they do. You’ll need only say one word, and they will do according to your wishes. No matter what you say, no one will complain, even if you speak harshly. … If you maintain uprightness, if you treat all people fairly and always help people with a loving heart, you will eventually be capable of bringing people into the truth. You will be completely capable of bringing people into the reality of God’s word and His salvation” (“How Leaders and Workers Ought to Lead and Work” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (I)). I then thought of the following passage of God’s word: “Without God, relationships between people are merely relationships of the flesh. They are not proper, but are indulgent of lust—they are relationships that God detests, that He loathes. … you do not have a proper relationship with God at all. You are attempting to deceive God and cover up your own ugliness. Even if you can share some understanding but you carry wrong intentions, everything you do is good only by human standards. God will not praise you—you are acting according to the flesh, not according to God’s burden. If you are able to quiet your heart in front of God and have proper interactions with all those who love God, only then are you fit for God’s use. This way, no matter how you associate with others, it will not be according to a life philosophy, but it will be living in front of God, considerate of His burden” (“Establishing a Proper Relationship With God Is Very Important” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Through God’s word and the man’s fellowship, I suddenly came to realize that if you want to succeed in your work as a leader or worker, you must first be in the right, capable of treating others equally, and have a normal relationship with God. In communion with others, you should share your personal experiences without any ulterior motives to help others. This way of acting fulfills God’s intent and will win the agreement of others. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I quieted my heart and reflected on my attitude toward the two sisters: At first I was able to give the newly promoted sister loving support, but that was only because our situation had no direct bearing on my personal profit. When the sister made a mistake that damaged my reputation and status, my true nature revealed itself. Like the “vile hag” of the 75th sermon, who, wielding a club or dagger, suppresses all that stand in her way. On the surface, it would appear that I was simply addressing issues with the sister’s work, but in truth I was venting my own personal frustrations. As a result, I spoke in a rude and caustic manner that made the sister feel I was looking down on and insulting her. When I saw how negatively the sister took to being dealt with, not only did I not feel sympathy for her, I held her in disdain and disgust. When I was first promoted to fulfill my duty, there were many things that I didn’t understand right away as well. Constrained by my own reputation and status, I was also very tentative to act and my performance was affected. It got so bad that I would often steal away to cry in private; at one point I got to where the Holy Spirit ceased to work inside me. However, my leader and co-workers never disdained me, working tirelessly to support and encourage me until eventually I broke free from my predicament and felt myself emerged anew. However, when my sister was going through the same kind of situation, I turned a blind eye to my own past. Not only did I fail to share my own experiences in communion to support my sister, I also shifted the blame to her, hitting her when she was down and wallowing in schadenfreude. Only then did I realize the vile nature of my humanity and that my supposed “support” of my sister in the past had all been hypocritical and illusory. Because I held biases in my heart, no matter how warmly I treated her, or how large my burden, I did not act with a truly loving heart and did not treat her fairly. Having treated her in this way, how did I expect sister to place her trust in me? As for the sister I was closer with, despite the fact that I held her to strict standards, there was still an emotional component to our relationship. I played the role of big sister to her. Sometimes I scolded her as a parent scolds her child: I would be worried when she exposed her corruption, but this worry arose out of an emotional connection. I was acting in accordance with my flesh and exposing my corruption, not out of a sense of burden to God. The more I acted in this way toward my sister, the more profound was the emotional bind of our flesh. This was in no way helpful or beneficial to my sister. It was then that I identified the root cause of my failure to succeed in work: I didn’t have a normal relationship with God. Despite the fact that I communed God’s word when I helped the sisters resolve their problems, I still harbored my own biases and worked to protect my own fleshly interests instead of pointing my heart toward God and working to fulfill God’s wishes. From the outside, it may have looked as though I were carrying my burden, but in truth I was hoodwinking God and covering over my own grotesque nature. God does not approve of those without right intention, so I failed to succeed and was even counterproductive. Through reflecting, I realized I’m not such a humane, righteous or just person. Indeed, I’m a selfish, conniving and vile wretch. At this point, I thought to another fellowship from the above, “In the later epistles, Paul was quick to belittle Peter. Once, he even criticized Peter before a crowd. He would not back down. This is well known to have happened. … Now, how did Peter characterize Paul? He said, ‘Brother Paul has received God’s revelation, listen to his gospel testimony to God. He has received God’s revelation.’ Not only did Peter not insult Paul, he even called him brother. Was Peter’s treatment of Paul fair and just? He treated him fairly. His appraisal of Paul was just and fair. Why did Peter mention Paul’s strengths? Peter was a man who had improved his life disposition, was acquainted with God and could treat people fairly. Paul, by contrast, was arrogant and egotistical, bowing to no one in his megalomania” (“What Kind of Person Will Be Perfected by God” in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life (VII)). When I compared my own actions with those of Peter and Paul, it seemed to me that I was even worse than Paul in every way. As a leader faced with handling issues that had arisen in our work, not only did I fail to actively take responsibility for the issues, lead the way in practicing truth, seek the truth with my sisters, resolve the problems at hand and protect the interests of God’s family, but also insulted and hurt my sister in quest of my own personal benefit. I truly hadn’t improved my disposition in the slightest. Looking at my sister: From start to finish she remained in quiet acceptance, never once trying to raise an issue with me. Her behavior was a judgment unto me—an exposition of my rat-like ugliness. My actions were less than human—there was nothing humane about what I had done. Certainly, my behavior was not befitting of a leader.